Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Whole Foods Cambridge

There are few places in the city that I hate as much as Whole Foods in Fresh Pond. The self absorbed shit heads that wander and clog the aisles drive me close to tourette's level outbursts whenever I go in there. And I some how always manage to think it won't be bad this time.... but it is. Early morning, late at night, week day, week night, weekend. No relief. It is like wandering onto a Woody Allen movie shoot without a script. It is easy to pick on Cambridge, but almost every pretension and stereotype(and wacky ethnic head wear) that defines Cambridge is fully represented within these four walls.
How hard is to more quickly and with some spacial awareness through a grocery store? Haven't we been doing this since we were kids? Every grocery store has basically the same layout. Get in Get out. But my ultra efficient methods are defeated time and time again by lunatics who park their carts in aisles and stare at peanut butter like they have never fucking seen it before. I could understand the confusion if I had wandered into the rare cheese corner but I am in the cereal and peanut butter aisle. Get serious. I want healthy food, but I am going to either have a stroke or catch a manslaughter charge.
I gottta find another place to get that Koomboocha tea.

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